Shallow

You lay down in a pool of your own disrespect

How do you expect anything less than what you're currently getting?

Shallow waters claim shallow lives.

Don't drown on us.

Please don't drown.

Lifeless Fury; a Psalm

It just couldn't be left unsaid.

Agitated and corrupt from the years being years, he stood up and took to the door.
He tapered off the obfuscation given to him from birth,
Begging the surrounding quiet to bash his goddamn skull in.
He couldn't get away, couldn't get around. Couldn't get into another man's sense of self worth.
He grabs the knob and is aware of the cool sensation in his palm.

The world was melting, burning fast from friction.
The world was provocative, clawing into his open mouth.
A man's only worth what he himself believes to be,
And this one
Is
One

A foot in front of the other, he slithers towards an undetermined goal,
Feeling the shivers of incompetence in his chest.
Really soaking in that flavor of inadequacy and defeat,
A man's man's of a man's joke.
He stammers to himself like the gasping fish,
Taken for the spineless joke that he is;
He knows, but he prays,
That the pain will make him strong.
Hope for the hopeless.
There's a bit of cautious optimism in the air,
Circling his head like a beautiful word,
His own personal sermon, hymn, and prayer:
"Act like you love me?"

On his march to the belly he comes across a man.
A man's man of a man's man of a man.
Living like the wall.
They pretend to love him.
They
pretend that
they do
He is the hero from a story so old it's lost its meaning.
Let him be the smiling mocking chest that claims affection
Let him be the walking unknown sacrifice
Let him be the one and only.
Your one and only.
My one and only.

A surge of remembrance, of embrace and flaws
An overwhelming spectrum of failure perverts
A new sense of purpose, finally! A goal!
Now let's flush it out. All of it out.
Penetration of the soul formulating a morbid cloud of serenity.
This is my chance.
He walks fast and holds the burden of inadequacy over this gentleman,
He assaults him with luscious visions of passion and fury
He overwhelms him,
As his prisoner of unknown unrequited lust
He overwhelms him,
And squeezes every bit of affection that was choked down by him
Like a selfish, beautiful child,
He squeezes and relishes in his loss.
And he is silent, but one more.
And he is silent, but one more.
And he is silent, but he disappears.
He can't disappear yet,
His head agape.

"Pretend that you love me?
Pretend that you
do"

He is silent, but one more.

The Moon

When the dogs you’ve been feeding

Finally start to circle you for more meat

Collective conniptions won’t

Stop then from hunting you.

And with your back pressed against the wall,

You tell them all,

“Look, I am so sorry; it’s not you, it’s me.

I am the victim here.”

But the dogs, they don’t care,

They just want their carnivorous desires fulfilled

You led them on with your perverse delights

And left them all craving more.

They all wanted you for what you offered.

But each offering was the opposite of intimate.

They’ll tear at your flesh as you scream your apologies,

Claiming love for each and every mongrel;

But the lies flicking from your sensual lips

Won’t settle them down, won’t pacify them,

They’re already left with their rabid tastes

And now they want you gone.

Under a soft, careless moon,

Beaming with indifference, enough to see,

You can watch as the lives you played with

Dissect you and break you down to nothing.

And there you will lie, with lunar delicacy,

Ashamed,

Alone,

Unwanted,

Deserved,

Regretted,

Pitiless,

All because you couldn’t keep from playing with the dogs.

Andromeda

Everybody comes together then tears apart

All the while we never let go of each other’s hands

How could you do that to me?

How could you suffer for so long?

And everybody always wants whatever they want

No matter how much the cost,

Even if they don’t pay in full

The sun is gone, the sun is blotted out

With the cloud of your cosmetics you wear for another love

So please yourself, help yourself to the feed

Just remember that we swallowed your lies whole

While clawing at your door,

We were all clawing at your door,

You fed us selective scraps of your hot love.

You lost it all and punish yourself

Suffer what come may

Suffer all you can take

You bathe in it and grope yourself to the tune of a new lover’s moan

Suffer until you choke

Suffer until you find hope

And you find that hope, in a new lover’s groan

You swallow it all and take and take and take

The road is never going to end.

We are both going to suffer for this. 

We will never get better.

We are not the type to heal.

Semicircles

We came out looking for a better life,

Evil carnal partners lapping everything in sight.

From our dismal desires came the need for more,

We were left alone, scratching at Eros’ door.

We hold our sadness so tight to our chests,

Like a precious disease that’s only ours to possess

We clamored and swayed, spewing mayhem in every way,

Until the night our paths crossed, when revelations were made.

The past is a vulture, picking at our sacred thoughts

Making us thrash at others until everything is lost.

Your passionate love was in tune with mine,

But the timing was wrong, our needs didn’t align. 

Like an only child, selfish and brimming with fear,

Insecurities set in stone from underwhelming years.

Like semicircles, love was sent and received,

But nothing was returned, it sat incomplete.

You fought for what was good, I swallowed it whole,

Selflessness is your forte, something I can’t control.

But how I did love you, from the moment we met,

A feeling so pure, not of jealousy or regret.

I knew in my soul that this was divine,

That we had found each other in such frivolous time.

Your beauty incomparable, your cleverness and wit

Are insurmountable, they truly are your gift

Your awareness of others, your genuine kind spirit

Is worthy of envy, I admired and feared it.

Your intellect, creativity, your eye for the arts,

Your loving, kind nature, it all comes from the heart.

I truly am fortunate to have you love me like you do,

I cherished each day I had the chance to be with you.

If I could go back in time and make all the wrongs right,

I’d give it all up just to have us create a life.

Should I ever want to retire from this life

Leave my dreams and recluse into a boring nothing

Please remind me gently of how great life is

When someone introduces you to their world

There’s a lot to be discovered.