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I don't want to ruin my pre-conceived thoughts of how I think you are.

I'd rather just sit in my disillusion of what you're really up to.

But in all honesty, it's probably not that bad.

I just don't want to know. At least not tonight.

Let's wait until tomorrow when I can find an activity 

To keep me occupied if it is upsetting.

But I think I have to approach it eventually and know

The truth just so I can deal with it accordingly.

The truth is usually a bit painful though, no matter what it is.

It makes me think a lot.

It makes me think and fantasize about realities and situations

That I shouldn't.

Then I make myself feel that pain just so I can absorb it

And then react accordingly.

I hurt myself, basically.

But it's all in an effort to know the truth

Get better, and grow.

Blame it on the OCD.

I just want to keep that pretty little picture of you untainted in my head.

But I need to embrace the ugly truth.

I just hope the truth isn't that ugly.

Maybe even pretty.

As pretty as you.