PENNIESpennys

Enjoy the taste of last night’s sin
Bubbling at the edges of your mouth
Expanding ever so
Crawling back to be ingested.

Put another coin into the existential darkness,
Turn the crank,
Get your prize of repetition
You win and you win and you won’t but you…
Somebody is always watching.

Drown, please, come on and drown!
Let’s suffocate on this suffering;
Let’s stare at each other,
Fluttering eyelashes tickling one another,
Let’s punish each other forevermore.

I am yours, forever and ever and ever and…
I want this to stop.
I want this comfort forever.
The comfort of being sad.
I am indebted to you, my secret lover.
Icicles for teeth, blinders for eyelashes
Oh God, why are you so pretty?

Shameless.
I am devoted to you,
Like pennies to the crank.
This is my life, this is my content prison.
I love it so much, I am crying.

Gallant

Same time as ever,
An unfortunate slave to the clock.
I think if you thinking of me,
Thinking of you.
I hold you up high, I admire you.
The gavel comes down hard upon the
Broad camera that is my life.

I’m not shy.
Conniptions are cast every evening,
I can’t help but be dulled by it.
It’s so boring.

Am I a better person because of
My lack of care?
My lack of want.
Am I truly better?

Is my being worn down by time,
Truly benefiting me?
Or am I just becoming dull
And complacent
When will I know
That I
Am
Better?

The Way You Deserve [lyrics]

It’s all been said and done;

The actions you’ve come to expect.

I can’t shake you awake

I won’t wash off of your skin

In your head again

You’re in your head again

What’s loving with no want?

What’s time spent with no gain?

What’s good times with no calm?

What’s marriage with no faith?

In your head again

You’re in your head again

Severed tongues in my mouth

One speaks of wants, yours of disdain

Like a punished child, I chew it all up,

Swallowing wholly accepted blame

Look at the shifted toys, look at my tickled nape

Look at my softened smile, 

look at my wanted gaze

Here’s another gift of silence

When all you want is noise

I can’t love you the way you deserve

In your head again

You’re in your head again

What’s loving with no want?

What’s time spent with no gain?

What’s good times with no calm?

What’s marriage with no faith?

All of this redemption with none of the suffering

Twenty years of favoritism and idolatry

I don’t want this, but I’ll be your choice

Here’s another gift of silence

When all you want is noise

I can’t love you the way you deserve

Not a mother’s love

Or a lover’s want

Just a spotlighted shove

Of a sexual debutante, debutante

Gnarled [lyrics]

Short sighted admirations of

Pained life, old life

Sun-bleached by my design

(Deaf pleas upon dead senses)

Teased thoughts that can’t unwind

(Deaf pleas upon dead senses)

Short sighted admirations of

Pained life, old life

The romanticization of

This life

I am the red line

I am so gnarled up

I’ve seen this ghost, exposed

Hidden repose

Gang war war cries, that become choked

Hidden repose

(Now breathe slow, but not out

Now let it choke, but not out)

Short sighted admirations of

Pained life, old life

The romanticization of

This life

I am the red line

I am so gnarled up

Don’t let me get this.

Hidden repose

I am the red line

I am so gnarled up

Strain until it breaks

MCXIII [lyrics]

An invitation, to unmarked skin

To carve out our own way

A permanent ornament

That symbolizes “someday”

You can’t have it all, but you want it all,

So you say what you must say

You won’t trade your crown in for a gown

So how can I serve you today?

It isn’t me, it isn’t me

I am not host to a slave

Lucky thirteen, lucky thirteen

Skulls on our arms can’t be faked

You faked

Fake

The Way You Deserve, Part I

Only you have your figure,

No one else has your shape.

Curse my eyes for their blatant lies

They present to me not what I want to see.

I am here, you are here.

We are not.

In the billowing meadows,

In the autumn chill,

Over there, I

I want to speak to you

With you

I can hear the churning of vapid pleasantries,

The coy flirtation of thinly veiled wants,

Sex-driven lips spreading wide into a smile,

Welcoming the carnalities of another.

I am hollow, full of hollow wants,

Give them all to me.

“I can’t love you the way you deserve.

I can’t spoil you into submission

Nor cradle the child within,

I can’t give you a mother’s love

And a lover’s want,

I can’t.

And I will tell you I am sorry.

I will tell you what you need to hear.”

I’ve known this.

A Snake Once Told Me [lyrics]

A snake once told me

“I need to own you,

Body, mind, and soul.

The fruit I come bearing

It’s all yours.

Come lay your weary head

Atop voluptuous soft…

Let’s share each other’s fangs

All mine, and mine alone”

Once the fever hit my brain,

Sweated and shivered in numb ecstasy

Sleek silver skin penetrates

A lonely line of lust

and selfish love is shedding into some lungs, I’m

Choking, choking, choking, choking.

A snake once told me.

Goddess of night, succubus of my whims

I’m dragged into your cosmic shrine,

Riddled with objective sin

I need to feed on these vocal scraps

And these forced willful visions, I’m

Choking, choking, choking, choking

A snake once told me:

“It’s all your fault

You’re all alone

It’s all your fault,

If only you just….

It’s all you’re fault,

So kill yourself now”

Now, kill me now.

Negation Permittance

You will find yourself one day,
Confined within a coffin
Surrounded by everlasting nothingness.
Your lungs expelling life
In exchange for dread
So you recollect all the things you are thankful for.
You are.
You
You.
I.

Dreams
Life
Oxygen
Women
Death
Misery
Black
Words
Romance
Intelligence

The feminine

Your blood will start to cook
And your eyes will begin to swell.
Your brain will feel heavy
And you’ll recount your favorite songs
Death is death.

Then you’ll take a sharp inhalation
Of dry, busy air
And come to see that you aren’t confined.
You are blessed.
You have all those things you are grateful for.
Nothing is gone but the dead.
So why is death still death?

OCD

Relax.

One, two, three, four, five.

Fight it.

Expel the feeling, make it pure.

Let it go.

Fuck you.

Fight it

Okay, you’re done.

Less Less [lyrics]

Shake,

Shake me now, tell me I’m here

In this body, surrounded by love

Break,

Break the sounds so that I hear

Breathy nothings, or lack thereof

Hope, hope for cherry

Bombs blossoming

Hope for the end of wanting wanting

In the 4am glint off the window,

In the white noise hiding in my stereo,

In the tainted skin of my second home,

I want less less

Black,

Purple, pink are your eyelids

Starry specter from a dead bedroom

Mute,

Mute your speak so it’s candid

Blaring so bright, obfuscate the womb

Hope, hope for cherry

Bombs blossoming

Hope for the end of wanting wanting

I’m suspended in disconnect

(Less talk, less truth)

I’m suspended in disconnect

(Less calm, less couth)

In the 4am glint off the window,

In the white noise hiding in my stereo,

In the tainted skin of my second home,

I want less less

From the bar to the grave

From the holes you concave

Disconnect me, disconnect you

I don’t want to, I don’t want to

I’m suspended in disconnect

(Less talk, less truth)

I’m suspended in disconnect

(Less talk, less truth

Less calm, less couth)

In the 4am glint off the window,

In the white noise hiding in my stereo,

In the tainted skin of my second home,

I want less less